http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a33128/erotica-tropes-that-need-to-die/
I thought it was pretty amusing, and realized that I had to agree with the author.
So, it inspired me to write a short story that includes every one of these tropes, with a twist.
Well, two twists to be exact, one with the tropes, and one that questions the tropes.
Tropes:
| The trope | The text from the article about the trope | My thoughts on it |
|---|---|---|
| Women climax on demand. | "Come for me [insert two-syllable name of erotica protagonist here]!" he commands, thus unleashing her. | Yeah, right. Women have to work for our climax, especially with most men...if we could do it on demand, I would just ask my husband to demand I climax, like, all the time. "Ask me to climax." "Come for me baby." "Yes!" "Again". "Come for me baby." "Yes!" "Again!" This could go on forever. |
| "I come undone." | A thing no woman has ever said, either aloud or in her own brain. | I do not even know wtf this means. Am I a sweater, do I come unraveled? Is the guy God, does he unmake me? Antimatter maybe? I cease to be? I don't even know... |
| Women come from penetrative sex. | This usually happens either after never having a single orgasm in her entire twentysomething years of life or never having an orgasm from penetration. | Actually, we are less likely to come from this. But, I admit, I tend to use this trope. It's a nice thought... |
| Women never have bad pain or hesitation when he wants to put something up their butts. | Be it his penis, a butt plug (Hi, Mr. Grey will you see me now?), a finger. She surrenders all orifices without hesitation no matter what object he wants to put inside her when in the presence of her "sex god." | Yeah, I normally avoid letting guys put strange things up my butt. Honestly, I rarely let anything be put there, regardless of what it is, unless I am in the mood for it, then I decide what is going there. Normally my vibrator, by myself. |
| "My sex." | It's called a clit. | I don't remember ever using it. I actually prefer to use the word "pussy". I am not writing PG-13 stories here... |
| "His length." | It's called a dick. | Same with "My sex", although I admit, I normally use penis. I don't really like using cock, dick, etc. Not sure why. But, I have been trying to break that mind trap. |
| Men are infinitely more sexually experienced than their partners. | And he always somehow always knows more about her vagina than her even though vaginas/women's pleasure profiles are like snowflakes, no two alike. | I have had lovers who were more experienced, and liked to learn about my body, but most don't even bother trying. It would be interesting of men magically knew more about my spots than me. |
| Quivering thighs caused by sexual arousal. | Have your thighs ever actually quivered outside of a really hard inner thigh set in barre burn? | Why does this make me think of rap videos? I have this image in my head of a woman twerking the instant she is aroused, causing her thighs to shake and quiver. Maybe Miley Cyrus quivers when aroused? |
| Climaxing from almost nothing, like, he blows on her nipple. | Or the sound of his voice alone. "He whispered softly and she came, fully, wildly, for hours." (No.) | Yeah, not quite this easy. |
| No one sees anything when sex is had in a car. | Even if the car is in a full garage or an open air and crowded parking lot. In erotica, two people can be boning in the driver's seat as thousands of people leave a Taylor Swift concert and no one will notice them and they will notice no one. | lol, maybe I have never written something like this because I like to highlight that others see the lovers. But yeah, doesn't make sense to me. |
| Desire "pools in [a woman's] belly." | Every time a woman gets horny, be it mildly turned on or unbearably aroused, she describes the symptoms of a stomachache. Does she really want to be fucked or is what she really needs a Mylanta chewable? | Hmm, again, wtf does this even mean? The most I can think of is, like, when a guy comes on your stomach, and it pools in the belly button. Since I don't randomly hold my breath so my stomach is concave, allowing it to pool like that. |
| UTIs don't exist. | Even if he goes from butt sex to vaginal sex, no condom change or "length" washing in between. This is possibly erotica's worst lie. | Yeah, big no-no. Good way for a girl to end up with a major infection. And eww, I don't want poop in there! |
| The "sex god" likes to wash her hair when they take showers together. | This always happens during the first shower. Ladies, raise your hand if your partner has ever offered to wash your hair? [No hands raised.] As soon as he's got some shampoo on her scalp, he's hard and banging her against the tiles which don't have any mildew because he's rich and has a housekeeper. | I have actually had a guy try to wash my hair. It didn't work well. |
| Shower sex is the HOTTEST THING EVER I COME UNDONE OMIGOD. | Shower sex IRL is never as good as regs dry sex. | Basically, true. Water does not make good lubrication, and tends to wash off whatever lubrication you have. Basically, this can go from fun to painful in a very short time. |
| The couple does it like seven or eight times a day and still has time to go out to eat and work at jobs. | He is always sporting an erection and dealing with it is like a full-time job. | lol, this is probably why I tend to write shorts, focusing on a very short time period, or focusing on different time periods. |
| Women have magical orifices that are not only resistent to infections but also require no lube ever. | She's always "so wet, so ready for [him]." | It hurts when a guy tries to enter you dry. Even when a woman is turned on, she is not magically wet. That is a physical reaction to arousal. Most of the arousal process during the early stages is psychological. Then again, I guess I am guilty of using this myself some. |
| The relationship is always love/hate. | And part of the reason she hates him is usually just because she made up some stuff in her head about him having a girlfriend, and rather than ask someone who would know, tortures herself over it for half the book. | Meh, not even sure how most of that works. I write like I would do in real life, at least if I was willing to do things like that. If I was interested in a guy, I wouldn't bother wondering if he was single, I would ask him in the beginning. If it is just for a hookup, meh, why care? |
| She always loves giving blow jobs. | And swallowing. She acts like his penis is a damn cupcake or something. | Actually, I hate giving blow jobs. I have swallowed, and I have given plenty, but yeah. And why is this not reciprocated? The girl gives the guy some long, intense, drawn out blowjob, and the guy licks her a couple times, if even that. I mean, what am I, a stamp? Lick once then stick? |
| All guys are really super excellent at finger-banging. | Finger-banging is like the vegan, gluten-free pizza of sex acts. It's never your first choice from the menu. | Some guys can be, but most just outright suck. Too short, or too long. Too hard, or they think it is like the penis above, stick it in and she will immediately orgasm. |
| Finger-banging in public — like, you're at dinner with his boss — is common. | Unless he is Gumby, his arms are not so long and bendy that no one notices him reaching down and twisting his elbow at an insane angle in order to finger-bang. | I have been finger banged in public. Trust me, others alternate between staring and trying to look anywhere else. I find it funny as hell. But yeah, not sure how this would actually work without others being able to tell. Well, unless the others are blind, or don't even know what sex is. |
| The man always has impeccable and sexy fashion sense. | - | If only. Even men who do have good fashion sense wear stuff that is not fashion sensable. Is that even a word, sensable? Well, it is now... |
| And can dance really well at da club. | - | lol, I can't dance, and have honestly never been with a guy who can. Not club style. I have been with a few who can dance more traditional styles, like ballroom. But I don't think that will work. |
| His penis is always the size of a firetruck. | - | Now see, this is exactly why I almost never mention penis size. Because it doesn't match any reality. Lets face it, even when you sleep with random guys like I used to, your more likely to end up with an average size, because...well, it is average for a reason. I have been with guys who were big, and guys who were small, but, most were average. I always laugh when a guy messages me about how big he is down there. I honestly don't care. I want to know what you will do with it, not how big it is. |
| The characters get aroused and speak with periods. Between. All. Their. Words. | During. Dirty. Talk. She never laughs at or second guesses his dirty talk, or thinks it's anything but completely hot even though he's usually shit at it. | I approach this slightly different, but I guess I do something somewhat similar. Short actions in single sentence spaces. Hey, read my stories if you want to see how I approach it, then tell me if it is better or worse. |
| Everyone orgasms every time they have sex. | The man, the woman, the woman again. If. Only. | Yeah yeah, I am guilty of this. Not in all stories, but I like to try to make sure I climax in the story. And normally, since I get off on the risky sex, I like him to climax, in a specific place. Again, read my stories, then tell me how guilty I am of this xD |
The trope story.
After finishing my drink, I headed to the dance floor.
I felt like a cat in heat, 23 and still a virgin. Then, he joined me. Tall, handsome, dark hair long and thick. His blue blazer offset his blue eyes, his white shirt contouring to his rippling muscles. Tight jeans showed off his sexy ass. He looked rich, the kind of rich that could buy the best clothes. And he was gorgeous, like some model from a magazine. He started dancing with me, and I could see the other women look at me jealously.
He moved like some god of the dance, his body mesmerizing, his rhythm perfect. I stopped dancing once or twice, captivated by how his torso swayed, his hips thrust, his legs worked. So fluid, so elegant, so perfect.
The DJ put on a slow song, and he scooped me into his arms, holding me close, and whispered in my ear.
"What is such a lovely woman as you doing dancing alone tonight?" His deep voice reverberated in me, causing my thighs to quiver in longing. I could feel my sex explode in climax by that voice, with its slightly English accent. I thought I would melt right there.
I giggled, and felt myself blush.
"No one to go with."
"Well madam, you have me to dance with now." His lips touched my ear, and I felt myself climax again.
We danced more, and by the end, I wanted him. I wanted him to be my first, so gorgeous.
I kissed him, and he returned the kiss, and even more. His kiss left me dizzy and light headed, my sex climaxing yet again.
"I want you," he whispered in my ear. I climaxed again, like my body was on some sort of sex frenzy.
I almost dragged him out, then he almost dragged me out, to the parking lot. He brought me to his BMW Z8 convertible, the top down, and sat me down in the front seat, legs out the door. The world around us disappeared as he pulled my panties off, and stuck his fingers deep inside me. He found places I never even knew existed, causing me to climax more than once as his fingers knowingly hit every spot I never knew existed, but found so intoxicating that I was helpless to stop him. He fingered my sex, shoved his fingers deep inside, pushed here, there, climax, climax, climax.
Soon, I was a quivering mass, puddled in his front seat.
He stopped, then unzipped his pants, pulling out his length. I gasped, and looked at it in shock. It was as big as a firetruck. There was no way I could get that in any part of me.
He took my head and gently guided me down on him. His length met my tongue, and he tasted wonderful. Like chocolate and honey and all manner of sweet things. I devoured his length, taking it deep inside my mouth. I could feel it enter the back of my throat, but I wanted it all. I could feel it go down my throat, like I was swallowing him.
"Very. good. madam. No. other. woman. has. been. able. to. take. all. of. me." He patted me on the head, and I beamed, enjoying the fact that I could do what all the other women he must have been with in the past was unable to do. "Suck. me. like. my. mother." he said, pushing my head against him. I could feel his length halfway to my stomach. "Yes. like. that. you. dirty. bitch." His hot words turned me on even more.
He pulled most of his length out as he came in my mouth. It tasted salty, a delicious salty snack. I sucked it all out, then wanted more.
"No madam. It is time to pleasure you more."
He pulled me out of the car, and sat down. Then, he pulled me on top of him, so we were facing the front window. No one else in the world seemed to exist, event though, by this time, everyone must be coming out of the club to go home.
He sat me down on his length, immediately sliding in. I gasped in surprise. "I fit it all in!" I said in triumph.
"Yes," he replied, like cooing to an infant. "And you weren't even wet. Your sex must be very good."
I blushed at this. "I am a virgin," I said in a quiet voice.
"Ah, madam, all the better."
I felt his length stab inside of me. I felt something tear, and it felt wonderful. I looked down and gasped as I say the blood pooling around the base of his length.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly.
"Shh, none of that madam. It shows you saved yourself, just for me."
He worked his length inside of me. "Come for me madam." I found myself climaxing like I had never done before.
"I come undone!" I shouted into the air in the convertible with the top down. I felt him climax at the same time, shooting his load deep inside of my belly.
With that, I got up, pulling my panties back on and watching him hide his length again inside his perfect slacks. We saw the other people going to their cars, and I breathed a sigh of relief that no one had seen us. Not even the guy, sitting in the car right next to us, smoking a cigarette.
"So, madam, hop in," he said, pointing towards the passengers seat. At hearing this, the guy in the car next to us looked at us startled. "Where the fuck did you two come from?"
"Oh, just dancing," the mysterious stranger I was with said.
I hopped in on this Thursday night, and we went to his house.
Desire pooled in my belly, thinking of going home with this handsome stranger.
We arrived at his mansion, and someone took his car away for him. It was huge. We went in, and someone took our coats and shoes. I could see people everywhere, scrubbing floors and walls, keeping everything spotless and shiny.
Everywhere was pictures of him. He explained a few here and there.
"This is me, healing to feed the hungry in the slums. This is me, volunteering to give medical supplied to starving kids in Africa. This is me, saving abandoned animals from being destroyed. This is me, saving an orphan from certain death in the big earthquake in China. Would you like to see my awards? I have the nobel peace prize, a couple academys, an olympic medal for equestrian jumping, and many, many more."
He was a humanitarian, a dignitary, a competitor, all rolled into one. He was smart, and voted the most handsome man two years running. I was so dizzy, I could not figure out what he would see in a girl like me. I was so...boring. Working in a library, sorting books, chasing people for their overdue books, trying to find new books. And here he was, helping to save the starving, save puppies, save orphans. Feeding and clothing the poor in third world countries while winning olympic medals. It was too much for me, and I swooned.
He scooped me up with ease, and I felt my heart flutter as he gallantly carried me to his room.
In his room, it was completely different. Pictures of him naked, having sex with men, with women. All colors. All nationalities. He described some of the women. Whores. Wives. Husbands. Even a picture of him with Darren James.
I looked at him and he shrugged. "Love is love madam. And I love you."
My knees went weak and I said in a breathless voice, "I love you too."
He called in his chamber maid to undress us, then she left, leaving me alone, naked, with this wonderful naked man on top of me. He spread my legs and plunged his length inside my sex again, instantly causing me to climax.
"Madam, let us try something different." He flipped me over, and propped my ass high in the air.
He reached over, grabbing a candle from the nightstand at the edge of his bed. He pushed it against my ass, and I wiggled, wondering what it would feel like. In one smooth motion, he pushed it deep inside, forcing a gasp from my lips. It felt wonderful, filling me up.
He grabbed something else, what looked like the Virgin Mary, and pushed it deep inside my sex. As he alternated working each in and out, his hand went to my sex, pushing my little button, working it.
I felt filled up.
He came around to kneel in front of my face, and I saw his length, bobbing there, in front of my eyes. It tasted so wonderful, I took it in my mouth without a moments hesitation, as he worked the candle stick inside my ass. "Come for me again madam." At his deep voice, at the filling sensations of the statue and the candle, my body instantly obeyed, climaxing again, my sex squeezing the statue hard.
He pulled the candle out and brought out a strange glass object. It had a small end that rounded out to a ball, then sloped back in to a narrow spot, then rounding out to a ball again. It looked like giant glass teardrops put together. He pushed that against my back entrance and pushed it inside, until my ass engulfed the first ball, then the second, then the third. I didn't know how he fit all four of the round balls inside me, but he did.
With my ass full, he swung his hand under me, down my belly, between my legs, as I continued to suck his hard length. He grasped the end of the Virgin Mary statue and started moving it in and out of me in time with my sucking. He was very flexible, being able to reach under me like that while staying right in front of my face.
I started sucking faster, getting him to speed up. I sucked harder, so he would push it in deeper. I felt myself climax as he climaxed down my throat. I hungrily devoured every drop of his thick, salty cream.
Once we both stopped climaxing, he pulled his length out of my hot mouth. "It is time for us to get cleaned up."
He took out the statue, but left the other thing inside my ass. I thought it would be uncomfortable walking around with that inside, but it felt surprisingly natural, and felt wonderful with each step.
We hopped in the shower, and he ran the water over my hair. Squeezing shampoo over my head, he rubbed it in, working through the strands of hair. His fingers massaged my scalp as he continued, so soothing, helping to relax me. He rubbed and lathered and ran his fingers through.
Bringing the shower nozzle around, he sprayed off my head, suds falling around me, draped on me like some exotic outfit. He turned me around and pushed me against the shower wall. I spread my legs and he brought the shower head against my sex. The water massaged my sensitive area, and sprayed deep inside me, filling me with something other than his cream.
He moved it away, and pushed his own length inside the space the water was filling. It felt even better, the space full, then empty, then filled up again with him. His length worked in and out of me hard and fast, until my sex clamped around his length, squeezing out his hot cream. We climaxed together, once, twice, three times, and screamed out in unison, "I. love. you!"
Panting from our exertion, we washed each other, bubbles on noses, on nipples, on pecs. "Bubble fight," I declared, and we had a bubble war.
Soon we were lathering each other, and stroking, and pawing, and getting clean all the while. We finally flopped into bed, and saw the sun rising outside.
"Wow, that late?" I asked, and he laughed. We made love twice more before falling asleep, wrapped around each others bodies, my sex sheathing his length.
I woke up to him pulling his length out of me, where it had been the entire time we slept, sometime near afternoon.
"I am going to arrange a meeting." he said before heading outside. The maid came in, cleaned up around the room and cleaned the bathroom.
As he was gone, guilt and doubt racked me.
Someone this wonderful. He must have a girlfriend, or a wife. I glanced at the pictures of him having sex with men. A boyfriend or husband.
I cursed myself for a fool, falling in love with this guy who probably already had someone.
I started to get dressed, then stopped, started, stopped. Indecision riddled me. I felt crushed.
He came back, and saw I was upset. "What is wrong madam?" I couldn't speak, so just sat there in silence, wishing he would stop toying with me like this. "You know I love you." I softened a bit.
Then I started crying.
He held me tight, and cooed sweet words in my ear while I settled down.
"Sorry, I just thought...you must have someone else."
He looked at me with a shocked expression. "No madam, there is no one else." I didn't completely believe him, but felt a little more at ease. I still felt the guilt in me, wondering if it was true, or if I was the other woman.
We continued to make love all day. Somehow, I even made it to work and got everything done there, until finally it came time for the meeting he had arranged earlier. The day flew by, and I couldn't even figure out how I managed to get my work done while sneaking out to see him in his car, making love with the top down while the library patrons came and went. It was a wonder no one caught on.
"Madam, I need to meet with the shareholders of my company. I would like you to join me."
I was taken aback. "But, I am not used to things like that. What if I embarrass you?"
"You couldn't do that," he said in the utmost confidence. "Besides, it will be good for them to meet my true love."
My heart fluttered at that, and I agreed to attend with him.
He had people come by with dress after dress after dress. I felt like a princess getting ready for a ball. Soon, we settled on a little black dress, the cloth so soft and silky it molded to my body.
We went to the dinner, and I met the stuffily dressed men and women of his board. The vice chairman sat on his right side while I sat on the left side. I had no idea of what they were talking about, and grew bored while trying to feign interest.
He noted my bored look at soon took care of that too.
Reaching under the table, he angled his arm, bringing his fingers between my legs. He rubbed the fabric of my panties, somehow finding the exact right spot, while all the board members talked on obliviously. He continued discussing things, completely non-nonchalant, while his fingers worked my sex.
I heard small moans escape me once in a while, barely audible. The woman next to me, in her mid forties, pearls draped around her neck, purple dress making her appear to be some sort of human eggplant, looked at me. "Are you okay, dear?"
I clicked my teeth together and nodded as his fingers worked their way inside me, causing me to climax right next to this woman, her seat so close she barely had to move her arm to touch me.
"Yes, just not used to all this," I told her, nodding towards the food and expensive wine.
She leaned in close, and I worried that she might see his fingers wiggling around inside my dress, inside me. "Well, now that you are with Mr. Black, you better get used to it." She didn't even notice that he was doing more to me than feeding me.
I decided to return the favor, pressing my hand against his length, still sheathed by his suit slacks. I slowly undid the zipper, and slid him out, careful to not arrange suspicion. Once free, I took the huge length of him in my hands and squeezed it, before rubbing up and down.
He reciprocated by pulling my panties down, sliding them off, so they fell around my heels. Fortunately the table ruffle covered them, because I would have died of embarrassment if anyone saw my panties around my shoes, or saw what he was doing under my dress.
I felt his length spurt in my hand, and pulled my hand out from under the table. I carefully waited until no one was looking and licked it off my fingers. It was intoxicating, doing this in a room filled with twenty other people, and none knowing what was happening under the table.
He knocked a fork off the table.
"Oops, sorry," he said, then leaned down to pick it up. He caught my heel and lifted first one, taking my panties off that one, then the other. Before coming back up with the fork, I saw him push my panties up his sleeve and give me a wink.
Once he was back up, I went to play with his length again, when he pushed my hand to the side and pushed it back in, doing up his zipper. He then stood up.
"A toast, to us, may our company be around long after us." Everyone raised a toast.
Then, he reached inside his pocket, and brought out a box. Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of me. "Madam, will you marry me?" he announced in front of the room. "I know we have not been together long, but I feel it would be a mistake to wait."
I felt shocked. I was speechless, looking into his beautiful eyes.
Finally, I responded, "Yes." with what little breath I could catch. We celebrated our honeymoon just a few hours after, and spent a long time in invisible cars doing naughty things that no one else could see, or things under tables while no one else ever caught on.
"Madam, let us try something different." He flipped me over, and propped my ass high in the air.
He reached over, grabbing a candle from the nightstand at the edge of his bed. He pushed it against my ass, and I wiggled, wondering what it would feel like. In one smooth motion, he pushed it deep inside, forcing a gasp from my lips. It felt wonderful, filling me up.
He grabbed something else, what looked like the Virgin Mary, and pushed it deep inside my sex. As he alternated working each in and out, his hand went to my sex, pushing my little button, working it.
I felt filled up.
He came around to kneel in front of my face, and I saw his length, bobbing there, in front of my eyes. It tasted so wonderful, I took it in my mouth without a moments hesitation, as he worked the candle stick inside my ass. "Come for me again madam." At his deep voice, at the filling sensations of the statue and the candle, my body instantly obeyed, climaxing again, my sex squeezing the statue hard.
He pulled the candle out and brought out a strange glass object. It had a small end that rounded out to a ball, then sloped back in to a narrow spot, then rounding out to a ball again. It looked like giant glass teardrops put together. He pushed that against my back entrance and pushed it inside, until my ass engulfed the first ball, then the second, then the third. I didn't know how he fit all four of the round balls inside me, but he did.
With my ass full, he swung his hand under me, down my belly, between my legs, as I continued to suck his hard length. He grasped the end of the Virgin Mary statue and started moving it in and out of me in time with my sucking. He was very flexible, being able to reach under me like that while staying right in front of my face.
I started sucking faster, getting him to speed up. I sucked harder, so he would push it in deeper. I felt myself climax as he climaxed down my throat. I hungrily devoured every drop of his thick, salty cream.
Once we both stopped climaxing, he pulled his length out of my hot mouth. "It is time for us to get cleaned up."
He took out the statue, but left the other thing inside my ass. I thought it would be uncomfortable walking around with that inside, but it felt surprisingly natural, and felt wonderful with each step.
We hopped in the shower, and he ran the water over my hair. Squeezing shampoo over my head, he rubbed it in, working through the strands of hair. His fingers massaged my scalp as he continued, so soothing, helping to relax me. He rubbed and lathered and ran his fingers through.
Bringing the shower nozzle around, he sprayed off my head, suds falling around me, draped on me like some exotic outfit. He turned me around and pushed me against the shower wall. I spread my legs and he brought the shower head against my sex. The water massaged my sensitive area, and sprayed deep inside me, filling me with something other than his cream.
He moved it away, and pushed his own length inside the space the water was filling. It felt even better, the space full, then empty, then filled up again with him. His length worked in and out of me hard and fast, until my sex clamped around his length, squeezing out his hot cream. We climaxed together, once, twice, three times, and screamed out in unison, "I. love. you!"
Panting from our exertion, we washed each other, bubbles on noses, on nipples, on pecs. "Bubble fight," I declared, and we had a bubble war.
Soon we were lathering each other, and stroking, and pawing, and getting clean all the while. We finally flopped into bed, and saw the sun rising outside.
"Wow, that late?" I asked, and he laughed. We made love twice more before falling asleep, wrapped around each others bodies, my sex sheathing his length.
I woke up to him pulling his length out of me, where it had been the entire time we slept, sometime near afternoon.
"I am going to arrange a meeting." he said before heading outside. The maid came in, cleaned up around the room and cleaned the bathroom.
As he was gone, guilt and doubt racked me.
Someone this wonderful. He must have a girlfriend, or a wife. I glanced at the pictures of him having sex with men. A boyfriend or husband.
I cursed myself for a fool, falling in love with this guy who probably already had someone.
I started to get dressed, then stopped, started, stopped. Indecision riddled me. I felt crushed.
He came back, and saw I was upset. "What is wrong madam?" I couldn't speak, so just sat there in silence, wishing he would stop toying with me like this. "You know I love you." I softened a bit.
Then I started crying.
He held me tight, and cooed sweet words in my ear while I settled down.
"Sorry, I just thought...you must have someone else."
He looked at me with a shocked expression. "No madam, there is no one else." I didn't completely believe him, but felt a little more at ease. I still felt the guilt in me, wondering if it was true, or if I was the other woman.
We continued to make love all day. Somehow, I even made it to work and got everything done there, until finally it came time for the meeting he had arranged earlier. The day flew by, and I couldn't even figure out how I managed to get my work done while sneaking out to see him in his car, making love with the top down while the library patrons came and went. It was a wonder no one caught on.
"Madam, I need to meet with the shareholders of my company. I would like you to join me."
I was taken aback. "But, I am not used to things like that. What if I embarrass you?"
"You couldn't do that," he said in the utmost confidence. "Besides, it will be good for them to meet my true love."
My heart fluttered at that, and I agreed to attend with him.
He had people come by with dress after dress after dress. I felt like a princess getting ready for a ball. Soon, we settled on a little black dress, the cloth so soft and silky it molded to my body.
We went to the dinner, and I met the stuffily dressed men and women of his board. The vice chairman sat on his right side while I sat on the left side. I had no idea of what they were talking about, and grew bored while trying to feign interest.
He noted my bored look at soon took care of that too.
Reaching under the table, he angled his arm, bringing his fingers between my legs. He rubbed the fabric of my panties, somehow finding the exact right spot, while all the board members talked on obliviously. He continued discussing things, completely non-nonchalant, while his fingers worked my sex.
I heard small moans escape me once in a while, barely audible. The woman next to me, in her mid forties, pearls draped around her neck, purple dress making her appear to be some sort of human eggplant, looked at me. "Are you okay, dear?"
I clicked my teeth together and nodded as his fingers worked their way inside me, causing me to climax right next to this woman, her seat so close she barely had to move her arm to touch me.
"Yes, just not used to all this," I told her, nodding towards the food and expensive wine.
She leaned in close, and I worried that she might see his fingers wiggling around inside my dress, inside me. "Well, now that you are with Mr. Black, you better get used to it." She didn't even notice that he was doing more to me than feeding me.
I decided to return the favor, pressing my hand against his length, still sheathed by his suit slacks. I slowly undid the zipper, and slid him out, careful to not arrange suspicion. Once free, I took the huge length of him in my hands and squeezed it, before rubbing up and down.
He reciprocated by pulling my panties down, sliding them off, so they fell around my heels. Fortunately the table ruffle covered them, because I would have died of embarrassment if anyone saw my panties around my shoes, or saw what he was doing under my dress.
I felt his length spurt in my hand, and pulled my hand out from under the table. I carefully waited until no one was looking and licked it off my fingers. It was intoxicating, doing this in a room filled with twenty other people, and none knowing what was happening under the table.
He knocked a fork off the table.
"Oops, sorry," he said, then leaned down to pick it up. He caught my heel and lifted first one, taking my panties off that one, then the other. Before coming back up with the fork, I saw him push my panties up his sleeve and give me a wink.
Once he was back up, I went to play with his length again, when he pushed my hand to the side and pushed it back in, doing up his zipper. He then stood up.
"A toast, to us, may our company be around long after us." Everyone raised a toast.
Then, he reached inside his pocket, and brought out a box. Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of me. "Madam, will you marry me?" he announced in front of the room. "I know we have not been together long, but I feel it would be a mistake to wait."
I felt shocked. I was speechless, looking into his beautiful eyes.
Finally, I responded, "Yes." with what little breath I could catch. We celebrated our honeymoon just a few hours after, and spent a long time in invisible cars doing naughty things that no one else could see, or things under tables while no one else ever caught on.
The anti-trope story
After finishing my drink, my fourth one tonight, I headed to the dance floor.
I felt like a cat in heat, 23 and divorced. I was pissed. My ex had cheated on me, sticking his dick in anything that moved, and hid it for 3 years. We had only been married for 3 and a half. I found out by the first signs of genital herpes. The instant my doctor had told me what those sores were, I knew what had happened. All those late nights, those days he didn't come home. I had always wondered in the back of my mind, but never let myself believe it. Not much choice after that doctor's news.
Then, he joined me. He was tall, and handsome, with long, thick, dark hair offset with blue eyes. His blazer hung on him oddly, like a rich playboy who didn't take very good care of himself. His abs were nice, but his shirt, unbuttoned half down, looked like it needed to be washed...yesterday...
Still, I was drunk enough, horny enough, and frankly didn't care enough, that I let him try his moves on me.
Move he did, too. He had a nice ass, I had to credit him with that. His dance though was more like a stagger, he seemed to have had more drinks than me. So, I tried dancing to make up for it, and laughed away his clumsiness. And clumsy was right. He stepped on me. Twice!
I rubbed against him, trying my moves. They weren't the best either, especially not after 4 drinks.
Finally, the DJ mercifully put on a slow song, and he scooped me into his arms, holding me close, and whispered in my ear.
"What is such a lovely woman as you doing dancing alone tonight?" I almost laughed, the line was so corny, but instead smiled politely.
"No one to go with. And on a Thursday night, none of my friends wanted to come out. I just had to blow off some steam."
"Well madam, you have me to dance with now." This time I did laugh, and caught myself quickly. He took it in good humor, I guess not realizing I was laughing at the corniness of his line.
A couple more drinks, more dancing, and by the end, I figured what the fuck. I was horny, he wasn't bad looking, so why not go with him.
He kissed me, bourbon heavy on his breath, and something somewhat pungent. The next time he tried, I turned my head, trying to act coy, but honestly not wanting to take that again.
"I want you," he whispered in my ear. I almost sighed, but stopped myself. I had already decided to fuck him, he didn't need to keep these lines up. I was beginning to wonder if I should find some other guy, or just go home and use my vibrator and dildo.
He grabbed my arm, almost dragging me out, to the parking lot. He brought me to his BMW Z8 convertible, the top down, and sat me down in the front seat, legs out the door. I had to admit, this was a nice car. He knelt down and tried to pull my panties off.
I slapped his hand away.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him. He looked at me, confused.
"I want you," he said.
"But we are in the middle of a parking lot!" I told him, stating what should be pretty obvious.
He looked at me again, confused. "So? I want you now." I liked his accept, but the slur in his voice took off the most sexy part of it.
"There is a guy smoking a cigarette right there next to us!" I told him. The guy smoking the cigarette chuckled as he tried to not look at us.
He did not seem to want to give up, so I finally got him to put the top down and roll up the windows. Fortunately, the side windows were tinted.
He got in the drivers seat while I sat in the passenger seat, then unzipped his pants, pulling out his dick. I looked at it and bit my tongue. He was on the smaller side of average, and I began to wonder if I was making a mistake. The alcohol and the empty need inside me for some human contact overcame my inhibitions, and I went ahead and took him in my mouth.
His dick met my tongue, and he tasted like sweat and urine. I almost gagged. I sucked his dick, licking the head, until he finally came in my mouth. At that very moment, the security guard walked by, peering in the car.
He tapped on the window, and the stranger rolled it down. "Please step out of the car," he said. Meanwhile, I had this man's cum sitting in my mouth, ready to throw up. I opened the door on my side and spit it out, wanting the foul taste out.
"There must be some mistake. We are not doing anything."
The security guard looked at his dick, limp in his lap, cum still dripping from the tip.
"You can tel that to the police once they get here. Now step out."
With that, my hookup turned the keys and hit the gas. Scraping along another car, he drove out of the parking lot, running the gate and ripping the arms off.
I was ready to shit myself, wondering who I just got in a car with.
"What the fuck are you doing!" I screamed at him.
"Shh, it will be okay," he slurred. I might have been somewhat drunk, but even I could see that this was anything but okay. Somehow, we made it back to his mansion without getting caught, and without running into anything else.
We arrived at his mansion, and someone took his car away for him. It was huge. We went in, and someone took our coats and shoes. I could see people everywhere, scrubbing floors and walls, keeping everything spotless and shiny.
"What the hell," I mumbled, wondering why anyone would need all these people. My god, is this guy some OCD case or something?
Everywhere was pictures of him. He explained a few here and there. I quickly grew bored and tuned him out as he droned on.
He tried to scoop me up, trying to carry me like some new bride through his bedroom door, and stumbled immediately.
"I will walk, thanks."
In his room, it was completely different. Pictures of him naked, having sex with men, with women. I didn't catch much before I said fuck it and walked out of the room.
He caught up with me as I continued walking, trying to get back to the front door.
"Sorry, madam," he slurred. "Lets try a different room."
I looked at him like he was crazy.
"Please, I will make it worth your while."
Well, I was horny, and with the money he had, I nodded agreement.
"Oh, I love you madam," he crooned at me.
That was it, I started walking back to the front door. I didn't know this crazy fucker, and he was already trying to tell me that he loved me? Fucking crazy.
He grabbed me, and pulled me back. I tried to resist, but he was too strong.
Finally, he brought me to another room, this one much more tastefully decorated.
"This is for you," he said, handing me the biggest pearl necklace I had seen. My eyes almost bulged.
I hesitantly nodded, then told hims straight out. "Okay. But, I am not some whore."
He nodded agreement.
"You are not a whore."
Was this guy stupid?
That was it, I started walking back to the front door. I didn't know this crazy fucker, and he was already trying to tell me that he loved me? Fucking crazy.
He grabbed me, and pulled me back. I tried to resist, but he was too strong.
Finally, he brought me to another room, this one much more tastefully decorated.
"This is for you," he said, handing me the biggest pearl necklace I had seen. My eyes almost bulged.
I hesitantly nodded, then told hims straight out. "Okay. But, I am not some whore."
He nodded agreement.
"You are not a whore."
Was this guy stupid?
He called in his chamber maid to undress us, and seemed surprised yet again when I stumbled back, getting as far away from her as possible. "No thanks," I said, wanting to say something more like Get the fuck away from me. I am an adult, not a baby, and know how the hell to undress, thank you very much. I stayed polite though.
"But, do you have anything to drink? I think I need a couple. Strong ones."
She nodded and left, and I slipped myself out of my dress. He was already naked.
I jumped in the bed and covered myself quickly with the blankets when she came in, a bottle of brandy and two glasses.
What the hell is up with this woman, undressing people, walking into bedrooms while they were naked. Is she going to try to join us?
I took them with one hand, balancing the tray, while nodding thanks to her until she left.
I downed one. Then poured and downed a second one. Two more, and I was drunk enough to go through with this.
He ripped the blanket back and jumped on top of me, immediately trying to shove his dick into my pussy.
"Ouch," I cried out.
He stopped. "Fucking lick it, or get some lube, or something."
When he continued to stare at me blankly, I decided to take care of it myself. I pushed my fingers against my clit, closing my eyes, imagining myself anywhere but here. As my pussy responded, I dipped my fingers inside, working them around my pussy. It wasn't working.
Finally, I gave up and spit on my hand, rubbing the spit along the surface, then working it inside.
"Okay," I said, ready for his dick, "I am ready."
He started trying to push against me, when I realized he had no condom.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Why, I am going to make love to you."
"Not like that you aren't."
He looked down. "I don't understand."
I sighed. "Do you have a condom in here?" I asked.
He gestured to the side table. I grabbed one, unwrapped it, and handed it to him. He just stared at it.
"I am not going to have unprotected sex with you. I am not on the pill, and don't want to get pregnant." I didn't bother telling him that I had herpes. It was for his protection too.
I put it on him, unrolling it down the length of his dick, until he was completely covered.
I had to get myself wet again, and spit seemed to be the only option. Here I was, with some rich guy, and I still had to use spit to lube myself.
He immediately tried to push himself in, and I had to slow him down. Finally, he was completely inside. Two minutes later, he was already filling the condom.
"Umm..."
I left it at that.
"Madam, let us try something different." He flipped me over, and propped my ass high in the air. Or at least tried to. I stopped him.
"What are you doing?"
He reached over, grabbing a candle from the nightstand at the edge of his bed. He pushed it against my ass. "I am going to put this in there."
I laughed at that. "No."
"Please?"
I shook my head. "No."
He grabbed something else, what looked like the Virgin Mary, and brought it towards my pussy.
"No."
He stopped again. "But..."
"Just no."
At this, he took the condom off, and shoved his dick in my face.
I sighed, then gave him another blow job. This time, I went to the bathroom attached to the bedroom and spit it out in the sink.
He came in, and turned on the shower.
"We need to get cleaned up."
I nodded, agreeing with him. He grabbed the shampoo and pumped the top, right into my hair. I knew what he was trying to do, and endured it. Until he pulled my hair. I slowed him down, and he pulled it again.
"Just stop, please. You are trying too hard." I lathered up my hair and rinsed it off. He grabbed the shower head and pushed it towards my pussy.
I opened my legs, and let him. He turned the head, and it pulsed against me. It felt wonderful. I closed my eyes, and let him continue. Unfortunately, he stopped and shoved me up against the wall.
He pushed his dick against my pussy from behind and shoved.
I screamed.
It fucking hurt.
"Getthefuckoffame!"
I pushed him away, and glared at him.
"Fucking stop that. This isn't some porn. It doesn't work!"
We washed up in silence and went out. I looked outside to see the sky grey. Shit, it was late.
"Sorry, can I sleep here for a couple hours? I need to get some sleep before work."
He nodded.
"Do you have any clothes that would fit me?"
He nodded again.
I slept fitfully, waking with every noise.
I finally got up, eyes grainy, to get ready for work.
He brought in a gorgeous dress. My jaw dropped. It was so elegant, and looked way too expensive.
"Here is your dress. You said you needed clothes for work."
My jaw dropped again, but for a different reason.
"I work in a library," I practically sputtered. "I am a librarian. I can't wear that to work!"
"Well, it is also for tonight. I would like you to attend a meeting with me."
"Umm...do I get to keep the dress?"
He nodded. "I guess I can go, but...I still need something for work."
He called in the maid and I asked her if she had anything for me. She finally came back with a conservative dress, a little old fashion, but it would work fine.
He drove me to work, refusing to call me a taxi since my car was still in the parking lot of the club. "I will wait out here."
"I won't get out until later." I told him, not sure why anyone in their right mind would sit in a parking lot all day.
"Then you should come and visit me," he said.
I hesitated, then agreed to come out on my breaks.
While he was sober, his voice was nice, and he had changed and was clean. He was actually very handsome.
But, coming out was a mistake. Again, he tried to convince me to have sex, right there, in the parking lot at my place of work, with library patrons streaming in and out. Many of those patrons kids!
I didn't visit him after that first time, but he was still there by the time I got off.
I again wondered if all of this was worth it, but...I could never afford those pearls or the dress. I bit my tongue and went along. The thought that he might have a girlfriend or wife flitted through my head. Maybe he was just a cheat. Whatever, I didn't care. Not my problem.
He took me back to his place and we got dressed. He kept trying to get me to have sex with him, teasing my bra as I tried to put it on, unzipping my dress, grabbing my ass. Finally, I gave in and we had a quicky. Three minutes. He wasn't much better sober...
We went to his shareholder meeting, which I guess was a dinner. A meeting dinner?
Old men and women surrounded me, rich and stuffy. It was both intimidating and exciting, but that wore off as everyone started talking. God they were boring. I found myself drifting off when suddenly a hand appeared between my legs, pressing against my panties. That woke me up.
I tried to push his hand away, but it didn't work, he was too strong, and I didn't want to cause a scene, hoping no one would notice. That failed miserably too.
Everyone suddenly went quiet, and started staring at their plates, or each other. The lady beside me was pointedly staring at her plate.
He grabbed my hand, putting it over the bulge of his dick, stiff under his pants. I took my hand back promptly, and tried to pretend nothing was going on.
He tried pulling down my panties. His arm moving so strangely, everyone must have known what he was doing.
I held the edge, preventing him from pulling them down.
Finally, he removed his hand, and I let out a relieved sigh.
He then stood up.
"A toast, to us, may our company be around long after us." Everyone raised a toast. Many did not seem to want to look at him, or me, while toasting. I wanted to scream.
Then, he reached inside his pocket, and brought out a box. Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of me. "Madam, will you marry me?" he announced in front of the room. "I know we have not been together long, but I feel it would be a mistake to wait."
I felt shocked. I was speechless, looking into his eyes. Fucking bat shit crazy eyes.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled at him. I turned to the others. "This guy is fucking nuts, and you are letting him run your company? What are you, complete idiots?"
With that I grabbed my new, expensive purse that had replaced my old one, complete with the promised pearl necklace, and got the hell out of this crazy man, before I ended up on a missing poster.
It would be a while before I decide to have another random hookup.
"But, do you have anything to drink? I think I need a couple. Strong ones."
She nodded and left, and I slipped myself out of my dress. He was already naked.
I jumped in the bed and covered myself quickly with the blankets when she came in, a bottle of brandy and two glasses.
What the hell is up with this woman, undressing people, walking into bedrooms while they were naked. Is she going to try to join us?
I took them with one hand, balancing the tray, while nodding thanks to her until she left.
I downed one. Then poured and downed a second one. Two more, and I was drunk enough to go through with this.
He ripped the blanket back and jumped on top of me, immediately trying to shove his dick into my pussy.
"Ouch," I cried out.
He stopped. "Fucking lick it, or get some lube, or something."
When he continued to stare at me blankly, I decided to take care of it myself. I pushed my fingers against my clit, closing my eyes, imagining myself anywhere but here. As my pussy responded, I dipped my fingers inside, working them around my pussy. It wasn't working.
Finally, I gave up and spit on my hand, rubbing the spit along the surface, then working it inside.
"Okay," I said, ready for his dick, "I am ready."
He started trying to push against me, when I realized he had no condom.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Why, I am going to make love to you."
"Not like that you aren't."
He looked down. "I don't understand."
I sighed. "Do you have a condom in here?" I asked.
He gestured to the side table. I grabbed one, unwrapped it, and handed it to him. He just stared at it.
"I am not going to have unprotected sex with you. I am not on the pill, and don't want to get pregnant." I didn't bother telling him that I had herpes. It was for his protection too.
I put it on him, unrolling it down the length of his dick, until he was completely covered.
I had to get myself wet again, and spit seemed to be the only option. Here I was, with some rich guy, and I still had to use spit to lube myself.
He immediately tried to push himself in, and I had to slow him down. Finally, he was completely inside. Two minutes later, he was already filling the condom.
"Umm..."
I left it at that.
"Madam, let us try something different." He flipped me over, and propped my ass high in the air. Or at least tried to. I stopped him.
"What are you doing?"
He reached over, grabbing a candle from the nightstand at the edge of his bed. He pushed it against my ass. "I am going to put this in there."
I laughed at that. "No."
"Please?"
I shook my head. "No."
He grabbed something else, what looked like the Virgin Mary, and brought it towards my pussy.
"No."
He stopped again. "But..."
"Just no."
At this, he took the condom off, and shoved his dick in my face.
I sighed, then gave him another blow job. This time, I went to the bathroom attached to the bedroom and spit it out in the sink.
He came in, and turned on the shower.
"We need to get cleaned up."
I nodded, agreeing with him. He grabbed the shampoo and pumped the top, right into my hair. I knew what he was trying to do, and endured it. Until he pulled my hair. I slowed him down, and he pulled it again.
"Just stop, please. You are trying too hard." I lathered up my hair and rinsed it off. He grabbed the shower head and pushed it towards my pussy.
I opened my legs, and let him. He turned the head, and it pulsed against me. It felt wonderful. I closed my eyes, and let him continue. Unfortunately, he stopped and shoved me up against the wall.
He pushed his dick against my pussy from behind and shoved.
I screamed.
It fucking hurt.
"Getthefuckoffame!"
I pushed him away, and glared at him.
"Fucking stop that. This isn't some porn. It doesn't work!"
We washed up in silence and went out. I looked outside to see the sky grey. Shit, it was late.
"Sorry, can I sleep here for a couple hours? I need to get some sleep before work."
He nodded.
"Do you have any clothes that would fit me?"
He nodded again.
I slept fitfully, waking with every noise.
I finally got up, eyes grainy, to get ready for work.
He brought in a gorgeous dress. My jaw dropped. It was so elegant, and looked way too expensive.
"Here is your dress. You said you needed clothes for work."
My jaw dropped again, but for a different reason.
"I work in a library," I practically sputtered. "I am a librarian. I can't wear that to work!"
"Well, it is also for tonight. I would like you to attend a meeting with me."
"Umm...do I get to keep the dress?"
He nodded. "I guess I can go, but...I still need something for work."
He called in the maid and I asked her if she had anything for me. She finally came back with a conservative dress, a little old fashion, but it would work fine.
He drove me to work, refusing to call me a taxi since my car was still in the parking lot of the club. "I will wait out here."
"I won't get out until later." I told him, not sure why anyone in their right mind would sit in a parking lot all day.
"Then you should come and visit me," he said.
I hesitated, then agreed to come out on my breaks.
While he was sober, his voice was nice, and he had changed and was clean. He was actually very handsome.
But, coming out was a mistake. Again, he tried to convince me to have sex, right there, in the parking lot at my place of work, with library patrons streaming in and out. Many of those patrons kids!
I didn't visit him after that first time, but he was still there by the time I got off.
I again wondered if all of this was worth it, but...I could never afford those pearls or the dress. I bit my tongue and went along. The thought that he might have a girlfriend or wife flitted through my head. Maybe he was just a cheat. Whatever, I didn't care. Not my problem.
He took me back to his place and we got dressed. He kept trying to get me to have sex with him, teasing my bra as I tried to put it on, unzipping my dress, grabbing my ass. Finally, I gave in and we had a quicky. Three minutes. He wasn't much better sober...
We went to his shareholder meeting, which I guess was a dinner. A meeting dinner?
Old men and women surrounded me, rich and stuffy. It was both intimidating and exciting, but that wore off as everyone started talking. God they were boring. I found myself drifting off when suddenly a hand appeared between my legs, pressing against my panties. That woke me up.
I tried to push his hand away, but it didn't work, he was too strong, and I didn't want to cause a scene, hoping no one would notice. That failed miserably too.
Everyone suddenly went quiet, and started staring at their plates, or each other. The lady beside me was pointedly staring at her plate.
He grabbed my hand, putting it over the bulge of his dick, stiff under his pants. I took my hand back promptly, and tried to pretend nothing was going on.
He tried pulling down my panties. His arm moving so strangely, everyone must have known what he was doing.
I held the edge, preventing him from pulling them down.
Finally, he removed his hand, and I let out a relieved sigh.
He then stood up.
"A toast, to us, may our company be around long after us." Everyone raised a toast. Many did not seem to want to look at him, or me, while toasting. I wanted to scream.
Then, he reached inside his pocket, and brought out a box. Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of me. "Madam, will you marry me?" he announced in front of the room. "I know we have not been together long, but I feel it would be a mistake to wait."
I felt shocked. I was speechless, looking into his eyes. Fucking bat shit crazy eyes.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled at him. I turned to the others. "This guy is fucking nuts, and you are letting him run your company? What are you, complete idiots?"
With that I grabbed my new, expensive purse that had replaced my old one, complete with the promised pearl necklace, and got the hell out of this crazy man, before I ended up on a missing poster.
It would be a while before I decide to have another random hookup.
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