Just another rant on society and sexuality

First, skip this entry if you only want to read stories, not my rants and thoughts.

I guess this is one of the good parts of having my own blog vs. trying to publish in traditional media outlets: I can write whatever I want.

Anyways, I know I have covered many of these points before, in one way or another, but...I just want to rant.

Society and human sexuality...just makes me want to SMH (Shake my head).

I enjoy sex. Lets face it, I enjoy kinky, dirty, disgusting sex. When I am in the mood.

People have asked me for my pic more than once. Want to know the truth? I would be willing to send to everyone, except...and here is where the problem comes in.

Except: Society judges us as sluts if we acknowledge sexuality. The double standard of male vs. female sexuality. If a guy has sex with many women, he is the man, and looked at favorably by other males. While women will not look at him quite as favorably, it isn't a huge problem if he has had past partners. Yes, women will judge a man if he has had too many, or if he has engaged in risky behavior, but still, much less negative than if a woman did it. If a woman has a partner, she is no longer as desirable, being no longer being virginal. I honestly can not grasp why this is an issue. Virgin guys can be cute in their awkwardness, but truth to be told, it can also get tiresome quickly. It can also go from cute to major turn off in...well...no time. But, for a woman, not so, at least from my observations of men and their mindset. I guess it is because women are supposed to be a passive partner? Look, I can be passive. I can be a fucking dead fish if I want to be. But, to expect me to passively lay there, and let you do whatever to me, is, well, downright stupid. I am my own creature, if I want to do something a specific way, then who are you to require me to do it? Do it my way or find someone else. Not saying I am this way all the time. Sometimes I want to be passive. I want to be loved, but don't want to expend the energy. Just depends on my mood.

Sorry, where was I?

Except: I will be judged by people seeing my picture
Except: I will be socially diminished if certain people know I have sent naked pictures out
Except: I will be made fun of, labeled, threatened, harassed, and have people treat me as if because I sent to one person, I owe another person something.
Except: I will find myself with diminished future opportunities. For example, what if I wanted some political office? "Here is the candidate, and here is her pornographic picture".
Except: I will lose friends because they will judge me based on what I share.

See, this is the problem, society will judge me and will discriminate against me for something as simple as sharing an intimate picture. Which is even worse, when you think about how media allows violence, and bans a nipple...

Think about it, most of my readers here know that I have prostituted myself in the past. I understand that I am not representative of all women's views, so don't take my words as "Hey, see a woman said this, so..." My opinions are based on, well, my opinions. My screwed up past, my life experiences, things like that. See, even here, I am starting to defend what I am about to say, because I know people will read it and judge me for it. But, here is the simple truth, I see nothing wrong with selling my body for money. We already do that. We go to work, and trade our presence, our time, our brain power or manual power, for money. If I am willing to trade my pussy for your money, who is society to judge? I understand this gets into public health issues. But, there must be a way, if I was legally allowed to do that, to minimize my risk, to minimize the customer's risk. It is an exchange of service. So, why am I judged for the exchange?

Many will get into the empowerment vs. your self worth, but how much of this is based on stupid social mindsets? It doesn't put undo wear and tear on my body to have sex with x stranger, so if I am a physical good, I do not get damaged and become unusable (Outside of extreme examples). So, why does my social worth decrease if I provide this service?

And here, many men I am sure will nod and say, "Hey, I agree", and many women will shake their head and say "Hey, that is wrong and disgusting", but doesn't that get back to my first rambling example? How much of it is just pure psychological bullshit that society has forced us to accept as "moral behavior"? Yes, I am quite aware than men do not respect the random girl they get to stick their dick into until it spurts, but again, how much of this separation between a slut and a lady is due to social constructs?

We all have a biological drive. If we didn't, there would be no people. So why do we claim that our biological drive is "bad behavior"? And I point my finger at religion, but still, it has permeated our entire social fabric.

I guess some may argue about the social binds, that sexual behavior outside of x scope leads to lower social bindings, decreasing social stability. But, again, how much of this is pure bullshit that we have been fed and made to believe?

Honestly, not saying I am not hypocritical myself. Why do I no longer have random sexual encounters? Because I am married, and will not cheat on my husband. But, how much of this feeling is caused by society's pressures and viewpoints? Honestly, I think about having sex with others all the time. It is my own moral compass that keeps me from actually living it. I have had sex with many people in the past, so how am I different now than before? I have the social stigma attached to me that means I must not let anyone other than my husband use my body in sexual ways.

Sometimes it feels anti-me. It doesn't feel like something that is natural for me.

Another thing, I would probably do camming, porn, even random hookups, if it wasn't for the judgement, stigma, things like that. Shit, you guys have read my stories. I would walk naked through the mall, letting every guy who wanted to fuck me whenever they wanted to (Well, again, depending on my mood).

Let some guy shove me over the counter as I was trying to pay for my new clothes and fuck me until he collapsed.

True, as I said, I know I am hypocritical. Risky sex turns me on, but I don't want to be someone with syphilis, herpes, AIDs. I don't want to spend my life as a single mom, trying to make ends meet (We barely do as it is...). But again, if the stigma was gone, how much more advanced would we be for contraceptives? I realize I got pregnant on the pill, but I think it was just a random, bad luck fluke. I am comfortable to trust it to protect me from pregnancy. So, what about STIs? I honestly think if these stigmas were eliminated, we could have ways to protect from that, even if it was just a "let me prick you with this pin to make sure you don't have anything before I allow you to prick me with your prick. If nothing shows up, then you can fuck me until we scream".

I realize that we cannot change society overnight. Lets face it, until recently, gay sex was outlawed in many places (If you are in the US, because it is still illegal in many countries), gay and lesbian marriage was not allowed, and even now, there is alot of discrimination. I know others won't agree with me, but, I think I should be allowed to also have a girlfriend, outside of my relationship with my husband. Why? Because, there are sexual needs another woman can fulfill that he can't. Oh, I won't, he considers it cheating, but I can't say I understand that thought process. Again, societies moral compass vs. natural moral compass. Yes, I can argue the other side of this too. Not saying the claims are invalid. Just saying that it is not the way I think.

Honestly, I would have more problems with my husband if he was spending lots of time with another woman, hanging out with her, sending her endearing little notes and stuff, than if he found a random woman to stick his penis in once and never saw her again. Emotional cheating vs. physical cheating.

Of course, it is funny because I think guys look at it the opposite way. Guess someone can chime in if I am wrong.

So, I write these fantasies, and yes, would do many of them in a heartbeat, if it was socially acceptable. Or at least if others would mind their own business and not judge me for what I do with my body as long as it is not being done to them...

So, guess all I can say is: Fuck the prudish, puritanical, shaming society we have. I hope some day humans grow up and realize that human sexuality, and all it's kinky perversions, are beautiful (I will add a disclaimer, outside of non-consenting and not able to grasp what they are consenting to side of things. So, stay away from rape and molesting people who are too young to understand what a sexual relationship means and have the maturity to deal with the complications of a sexual relationship. I was wiccan before, so I firmly believe in the principle of "Do what thou wilt, in it harm none"). So, get kinky, mind your thoughts and try to stomp out your judgement of others and what they do with their body, and make sure everything you do is consensual.